Friday, 20 March 2015
March 20, 2015 Chautauquau
A while back, I read that it takes five years to reinvent yourself and your life after a major life-changing event (loss of a loved one, divorce, health crisis, job loss, etc). The author also said that if it takes less than five years, you did something wrong, and if it takes you longer than five years, you did something wrong.
I think that view is too simplistic.
Some losses seem naturally easier to rebound from others. For instance, finding a new job can be much easier than recovering from cancer.
Plus, everyone’s life and circumstances are different. The length of time it takes, and the particular route you follow, to recover depends greatly on what the life-changing event was, what supports you have available to you (people, money, resources), and - most importantly - how willing you are to move past whatever the event was as you continue on your life journey.
If you spend all your time and energy trying to turn back the clock, or recapture what is gone, it will take obviously take longer. And you may find that your problems compound, such as a serious health crisis following a job loss or death in the family when the grieving process is suppressed or allow to fester.
On the other hand, if you start take baby steps - any type of baby steps - in the new direction your life is headed, you will find that you will get to a place of balance a lot quicker.
The truth is that as long as we are alive, we are constantly “reinventing” our lives. Even if you have been in the same job or area for years, you are not the same person you were 10 years ago, five years ago, last year, last week, or even yesterday for that matter.
Each person we interact with, each new piece of information we see/hear/read, and each task we do, change us in some way - hopefully for the better - as everything is a learning experience of some nature.
The length of time is immaterial, what is important, is always our attitude as we deal with whatever new challenges life presents to us.
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