January 1, 2016 Chautauqua

Beth's Ponderings

   A good friend of mine, who owns his own business, once told me that he found it difficult to make the cold calls necessary to keep his business going.  That really surprised me because 1. he’s very personable and outgoing, and 2. cold calls are one of the easiest things in the world for me to do.  (Must be because of all those years selling Girl Guide cookies door-to-door in Mirror and having doors slammed in our faces).

   And that is what it really boils down to...what's the absolute worst thing someone will say to you if you ask them something? 

   No!  

   So what?  They said “no,” so go on to the next one. 

   There are countless reasons why someone will tell you “no” - bad timing, bad day, not enough information, lack of resources, lack of interest, not authorized to make decisions, etc.  

   No matter why they say it, remember that it usually is a good thing, no matter how strong your emotional reaction may end up being. 

   If it was truly meant to be, you'd have gotten a “yes.”  

   If you don’t believe me, just think of a time when you tried to force someone to say “yes” to you.  Bet it ended up creating more trouble and headaches than if you’d just accepted their “no” and moved on?

   Now, that doesn't mean you can't try again, and often you should try again...at a different time, not right away.  There is a thin line between persistence and outright harassment.

   Don’t take it personally, just because the person in front of you says “no” doesn’t mean the next one will, nor does it mean if you say “no” to someone that no one else will say “yes” to them.

   Just as people will say “no” to us, it is healthy - and necessary - for us to say “no” to others.

   Saying “no” is valuable, and when we say “yes,” we really do mean “yes.”

   And, ultimately, your life is defined by the “no’s” you get along the way, and by the “yes’s.”

Beth

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