Beth's Ponderings
Sigh, it seems
there are some misconceptions and rumours floating around about me that I need to clarify.
First, I have not
quit the newspaper. Which should be
obvious as I am still the contact person, and I still write a blurb for this
spot every issue.
That said, I have
had to make changes in how I go about putting the paper together, and, the
biggest change of all, is that I have had to get help with the twice-monthly
deliveries as I am just not able to handle the physical effort on my own. Even though I have had help, I have been
along on every trip, in the car, giving directions.
Unfortunately it
doesn’t look like this situation will be changing any time soon, and, as I can’t
always find someone available to spend the day with me, I can’t guarantee that
I’ll always be able to get the print issues out to the communities in a timely
manner. The paper will be available
online for sure.
Second, I AM
getting better, but “getting better” does not mean that I am cured, totally
healthy, or that life is now back to normal.
FAR FROM IT! All “getting better:
means at this point in my life is that I am not loudly knocking on death’s door
any more. Thank goodness! I still need loads of rest, I still need help
doing things, and I am not supposed to have any stress - though I still haven’t
figured out how to get around that one as just having a chronic illness is
stressful enough, besides the stresses that result from not being able to do
what you want, or need to do each day.
I was told that I
have been like a gas tank that is so empty and dry there aren’t even any fumes
in there. When I rest, and manage to get
replenished, I act like I have a full tank, when in reality I may only have a
few drops of gas, which are quickly used up.
Until I can get my tank filled up again, I am going to be limited as to
what I can do on my own.
Third, just because
I am smiling doesn’t mean that everything is sunshine and roses in my life,
because it is NOT! I smile, because I am
at heart basically a very happy person, and because smiling is the one thing I
can do that doesn’t stress me out, or exhaust me within 10 or 15 minutes. While there may be a smile on my face, the
tears are a mere blink away and can fall at any time - and they do fall.
My life changed in
the past 5 years, and nothing is the same.
Beth
Read the complete issue of The Chautauqua here: https://sites.google.com/site/thechautauqua23/home/December%201%2C%202017%20Chautauqua.pdf?attredirects=0&d=1
