Beth's Ponderings
As I write this, it
is the day traditionally known as Epiphany (January 6) - when the Wise Men
arrived in the Christmas story. But, an
epiphany is about so much more. It’s a
moment of sudden realization that completely changes how you view something. I recently had my own great epiphany as I was
working on my year-end in December.
Now to set the
context, I have been beating myself up as it were for years, especially since
my physical collapse over seven and half years ago, about all things I WASN’T
getting done in my life. And, these
weren’t even big dream (or someday) type tasks, but just regular everyday/daily
tasks that I just couldn’t seem to get around to, or keep on top of no matter
how hard I tried. I was frustrated, more
often than not, at my inability to juggle the various tasks and
responsibilities in my life, as I seemed to drop more and more balls as time
went on.
Since I started
feeling better in 2020, and was able to complete more and more unfinished
tasks, I could also see how much of my life I let slide, not just in the past
seven years, but even in the decades before that. Which led to even more frustration, and
beating up of myself.
Then, as I was
going through paperwork for year-end, I realized that it wasn’t about the balls
(tasks/responsibilities) I failed to juggle at all!
Knowing what I know
NOW, about how sick I truly was, I am absolutely AMAZED that I was able to
function to any degree at all! I should
not have been able to keep ANY balls in the air – and I have no idea how on
earth I managed to keep this newspaper going for 19 years, as well as
everything else I actually was getting done.
Humans are incredibly resilient, and able to accomplish great feats when we are called upon to do so. Never underestimate you capacity to amaze yourself, and cut yourself a lot of slack if you aren’t accomplishing what you think you should be. There could be factors you don’t even know about that are impacting what you can and can’t do in any given moment. Breathe, give yourself a hug, or a pat on the back, and remember that you truly are doing the best you can.
Beth
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